Daniel Abbey

During our Old Testament Review class at CCF yesterday we came across a couple of happenings in the book of Numbers that made everyone stop reading and break into laughter.

Which, of course, begs the question:

The book of Numbers???

I’ll admit, it’s the last place in the Bible I thought I’d find something funny. All those people being swallowed by the earth, blowtorched by God at the Tent of Meeting, or mauled by poisonous snakes – surely there couldn’t be a more serious book in Scripture?

And yet Numbers has some fascinating accounts which amount to some interesting black comedy.

For instance, in chapter 11 the children of Israel are complaining to Moses about their seemingly boring food supply. The effect of Manna (that mysterious yet tasty material rained down from heaven everyday) has worn off on them and now they’re moaning about how much they miss meat:

“…If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!” (Numbers 11:4b-6)

Pretty grateful bunch, eh? God thought so too. Consider his response to Moses:

“Tell the people: ‘Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The LORD heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the LORD will give you meat, and you will eat it. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the LORD, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?” ‘ ” (18-20, emphasis added)

God peeved = holy sarcasm = funny.

And sobering.

We all had to chuckle again, a short while later, in chapter 25. Here, Israel really lets it loose:

While Israel was staying in Shittim, the men began to indulge in sexual immorality with Moabite women, who invited them to the sacrifices to their gods. The people ate and bowed down before these gods. So Israel joined in worshiping the Baal of Peor. And the LORD’s anger burned against them. (Numbers 25:1-3)

These guys were the recipients of God’s 10 commandments. They knew the standard to which they were called to live. They also knew how severely God dealt with sin: from the supernatural plagues in Egypt to the splitting of the Red Sea, to the quelling of Korah’s rebellion with fire – they had a pretty good idea of what it was like to push God over the edge.

And yet they “played the harlot” (NASB) with foreign women and started worshipping non-existent gods, something they were expressly forbidden to do.

God’s reaction?

The LORD said to Moses, “Take all the leaders of these people, kill them and expose them in broad daylight before the LORD, so that the LORD’s fierce anger may turn away from Israel.” (4)

Standard operating procedure, really. God is holy, man is sinful, and the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). God demands the violators be put to death in no uncertain terms – and the better people in Israel mourn because judgment has come upon them.

But what happens next?

Then an Israelite man brought to his family a Midianite woman right before the eyes of Moses and the whole assembly of Israel while they were weeping at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. (6, emphasis added)

Some dude with a Midianite chick on his arm walks right past Moses and everyone else gathered at the Tent as they mourn their grave situation. The nerve!

I can imagine God has just made his fiery pronouncement and the people are stunned into silence, broken only by repentant sobbing. Suddenly this guy comes strolling through the compound, girl in tow, and he weaves his way through the people, oblivious.

“…excuse me, thanks… excuse me, guy coming through…cheers…”

I can imagine a thousand jaws dropping and Moses almost having a seizure.

What happens next, however, is far from funny:

When Phinehas son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron, the priest, saw this, he left the assembly, took a spear in his hand and followed the Israelite into the tent. He drove the spear through both of them—through the Israelite and into the woman’s body. (7-8)

The couple is in their tent, seemingly getting their groove on, when in walks the priest’s son with a spear and bam! He impales the couple permanently to their bed.

So much for having a bit of fun.

The lesson in all this?

One, God hates sin and will punish it one way or another.

And two, while some sin may seem like fun to us at the time, we won’t be having the last laugh.